Deviation Actions
Relationships:
April-27% (She'll Be Watching You...Until She Can Help You Commit Suicide)
Gran-30% (Stupid and Lazy Enough to Eat)
Jack-56% (More Tolerable Than Most People)
McCready-48% (Air of Professionalism)
Sean-55% (Willing to Have a Friendly Talk)
Sonya-71% (Wants You. Now.)
Personality: The first thing anyone noticed about Katherine was her breathtaking beauty. And the SECOND thing they noticed were her shaking hands and refusal to make eye contact. Being a Psychology Major, Katherine quickly realized she had Social Anxiety Disorder. But knowing what something is theoretically and being able to FIX it...are two entirely different things. She couldn't fix anything...she was much better at messing things up. Over and over again. Other people said she was sweet and kind and loving and selfless...but she was pretty sure they were just lying to be nice. How could they not see what she saw?
And as if that and her family issues weren't bad enough, after what happened with Mike...Katherine hadn't been able to sleep, and she could barely even work on her writing or play the games she used to enjoy so much. She just didn't enjoy herself anymore. Not just with those things, with anything. The present was empty and barren...and all she could imagine in the future was more of the same.
When not battling her rogue brain and her crippling insecurities, Katherine enjoyed psychology, writing, and video gaming...not that she was OFTEN not battling either of those things. It was a constant struggle. If she wasn't ironically more afraid of death than she was of life, Katherine sincerely doubted she would still be alive. Better to live ANY life...even a miserable life, than no life at all.
CJ's Life Lesson ("You ain't gonna make it in the world if you all by yourself."):
Her older brother CJ gave Katherine that little life lesson when she was like...5 years old. She'd been failing at it ever since. Because she was always by herself. Katherine couldn't even remember a time when she didn't feel like she was by herself. Her mother abandoned her, her father got into violent rages, her friends weren't even interested in understanding her at all (with possibly the SOLE EXCEPTION of Sonya...yeah, serial killer Sonya, that Sonya)...she spent practically her entire life in her own mind...completely and utterly alone. And CJ was right. He was always right.
She wasn't going to make it.
The Infamous Ex-Boyfriend (Mike): There was no epic story of how Katherine and Mike met. They met through mutual friends when Katherine was sixteen. Mike thought she was beautiful and sweet, and asked her on a date that weekend at the movies. He had no idea of her anxiety, and Katherine tried to conceal it and just be normal so he'd like her...and had a full-on panic attack at the theater. But instead of being embarrassed by that, Mike stayed with her the whole time-holding her in his arms and telling her it was going to be okay. It was the kindest thing anyone had done for her, and that was the night Katherine knew she was falling in love. (Yeah, she fell in love fast...but when you know, you know.)
Mike eventually explained, months after they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, that he'd had a few panic attacks himself waiting for his father to come home and beat him again. In between his homicidal rages and thoughts of hanging himself in the closet. When Katherine asked if he still wanted to hang himself, Mike laughed and said of course he didn't...now he knew how to shoot. Wow. This guy had some serious issues. But so did she. And maybe they could find a way to work through them together.
And for a year, they did. Mike assured Katherine repeatedly that she was beautiful and caring and more than good enough, and held her hand and promised that it would be okay whenever she was freaking out. Katherine helped calm Mike down during his rages and kept him away from his guns then and when he was more inclined to shoot himself. Two very dysfunctional people had somehow managed to have a functioning relationship.
But it all changed when this male friend of Katherine's said he had a crush on her and just kissed her right in the hallway without permission. Katherine told him to never do that again and that she only liked him as a friend...but she was too afraid to tell Mike. What would Mike say? What would he DO? What if he didn't believe her that she didn't want it? What if he went after her friend and started beating him to a pulp (because what he did was wrong, but he was still her FRIEND)?
Mike found out though, somehow a couple months later. To say he was furious would be an understatement. Katherine desperately explained, while crying and choking on her words, that she didn't want it and she was just scared to tell him. After days of this, Mike SAID he believed her and forgave what happened.
But from that day on he started treating her like absolute shit. Mike had never been thrilled that Katherine didn't want to have sex again after...what happened, but he always respected her decision. Until then. Then he outright demanded that Katherine have sex with him or else he'd dump her for another girl who would. He said he had plenty of options and plenty of people who would give him what he wanted if she wouldn't. Katherine tried to convince him that they didn't need sex to love each other...but he wouldn't listen. Katherine refused to agree to what he said, and within a week he texted her saying he "found someone else."
Mike was an absolute asshole to her in the end, but God...it still hurt like hell.
Chapter 1:
Pre-Van Ride Introductions: Sonya was...like, perfect. She was so beautiful it made your eyes want to hug her, first of all. But more than that...she was the kindest, sweetest person Katherine had ever known. When she found out that after everything, Mike had cheated on her...Sonya, who she didn't even know at the time, extricated herself from a throng of people who were throwing themselves at her just to comfort the crying, shaking mess that Katherine had turned into as soon as she read his breakup text (yep, he ended their 2 year relationship via TEXT). She was so amazing that Katherine sometimes didn't know what to say. Why would someone like THAT want to be friends with someone like HER? When she actually started teasing Katherine of checking herself out (as if she'd ever check out herself when SONYA was around)...Katherine just started panicking and basically staring and drooling.
Shit, shit shit! She was going to ruin the best thing that ever happened to her. Sonya was going to think she was some kind of stalker creep! She was going to hate her, Katherine would be lucky if Sonya didn't call the COPS...she was smiling. Sonya was smiling...and striking poses. She wasn't mad. She didn't hate her. Katherine started laughing in pure relief as much as at Sonya's antics.
Then they walked up to the van and suddenly Katherine was surrounded by strangers. Sonya's uncle...Sonya's little sister...this really huge and scary guy with tattoos who looked like he wanted to kill her! Katherine nervously tried to say hey...and got the middle finger for it. Oh God! How could he hate her already?! He was probably annoyed, because she was annoying him...she never, EVER knew what to say. She tried and she tried and she DIDN'T. He hated her...and he was Sonya's friend...Sonya would hate her if he did...Katherine couldn't breathe. She saw that she was shaking and she couldn't breathe. She could barely manage to get out "What's up?" Jack...just stared at her. Like he was looking straight through her. Like she was nothing. And she was. But he KNEW she was nothing. Already. How did he know? How did everyone know?
Then Jack started talking...telling her to shut up because he was hungover...then offering her a hand to shake. Hoping it would help him to forgive her for being such a screw up already, Katherine shook it...and Jack seemed to get a whole lot friendlier. Actually, he offered to get her tickets to his next MMA fight. Was he, like...asking her out? It's a good thing the conversation was interrupted, because Katherine was too embarrassed to speak, and was blushing so hard that if Jack looked at her, she might actually DIE of embarrassment from him KNOWING she was embarrassed.
And nobody told HER that her friends from campus, David and Sam J, were coming too! So that was such a shock Katherine literally stopped breathing for a second...so many people...all looking at her...all judging...she could barely think. And even if they were both cute...after what happened with Mike, Katherine wasn't going to get hurt again. She'd been hurt so many times in her life. Never again. She didn't want love. She didn't want to be loved. And besides, Katherine was WAY too shy and anxious to actually flirt with them. She slunk shyly into her seat...and Sam J started asking "what was wrong." Oh no. Katherine managed to get out that she was still thinking about Mike. Sam was always such a good friend...she said that she needed to move on, and that doing that was a good reason to have fun here. Easier said than done though.
Then she met Sonya's little sister April. April started their introduction off...by saying she wouldn't care if Katherine died, and repeatedly calling her "mortal" as if it was some sort of insult. How could anyone be this pretentious?! Good God. Katherine didn't say a word, still stunned from the shock.
AND Mr. Colarthan, the student teacher in Abnormal Psychology, was here too (how many people were here? Oh God...). He was in his late twenties, and actually kind of cute (not that she would do anything. My God, he was her TEACHER)...but how she DREADED his class. Sean (as he wanted her to call him out of class) was that kind of liberal, progressive professor that wanted to spend most of class doing "class discussions." And he expected EVERYONE to participate, and would cheerfully call on anyone who tried to not do so. Katherine sometimes got chest palpitations days before his class just thinking about it.
Then that stuck-up little brat April started bullying David for a joke that was actually pretty funny! And even if it were a bad joke, at least he was trying to make people HAPPY with it! Still, Katherine had learned SOME patience since she was a short-tempered little girl, and instead of yelling or insulting, Katherine managed to calmly ask "How do you think other people feel when you keep insulting them, April?" April's reply, you ask? "Insulted, if-they-are-intelligent-enough. Or-they-might-be-too-thick-for-that-to-get-through-to-them." At THAT point, Katherine's anger at this arrogant little twerp overrode her anxiety and overrode her learned patience. All she could manage to say was "Fuck you, kid."
Van Ride-A: It was all too much...after the confidence brought on by that moment of anger passed, Katherine was forced back into her thoughts of all these people...all these virtual strangers...watching her and judging. All of them ready to laugh at her and humiliate her if she made the smallest mistake. Katherine was shaking, her heart was beating out of her chest, and she...she couldn't breathe...
Then suddenly Katherine's tremors stopped, her heart rate slowed to a relaxed pace, and she could breathe again. She sat up in her chair, crossed her arms, and her expression changed to a confident smirk. Because right now, Katherine wasn't Katherine.
Psychologists still don't fully understand the factors that lead to an extremely small minority of people who experience severe childhood trauma developing a split personality. For most, it doesn't happen. For Katherine Johnson, it happened.
Kara tossed her hair over her shoulder and joined in the conversation between Sonya and April. This was about particle theory. Fascinating subject...and even more fascinating girl discussing it. Okay, maybe not that fascinating in personality...but Sonya's face and her body were most definitely utterly FASCINATING. And of COURSE Kara understood what April was saying about particle theory being invalid because particles are made up of strings and are therefore NOT the building blocks of the universe...but she pretended to groan and shake her head so that Son-Son, who didn't understand a word (not that Kara expected her to-she was a bit of an airhead), wouldn't feel dumb. Sorry April, it isn't personal. Her sister was just TOO sexy to risk getting on her bad side. And after some playful teasing with Sonya about understanding what April said, Kara made her move and put her arm around Sonya. They snuggled that way together for a while. It was awesome.
Then Jack seemed to awake and ready to talk, so she talked with him next. He was cute. But he was moaning and groaning about his hangover. Ugh. Well, Kara had an obvious solution-stop freaking drinking! And no Jack, she couldn't relate. She'd never even been out drinking before (alright, this was partially because of Katherine's social anxiety, but it was also a point of pride). Then she found out he did MMA fighting...now THAT was sexy. When Jack asked what type of music she listened to, Kara remembered to say ecclectic stuff, which is what Katherine was into. Rule Number #1 of being an Alter-Don't do anything stupid...like let people know you exist.
Then David told this hilarious story about his nutty teacher finally losing it over a prank somebody pulled and having a mental breakdown. Cute and funny...if she could get Katherine to just hold on again, Kara would boink David and Sam J both. But she did NOT understand why Sam J would do that nerdy roleplay D&D stuff. That sounded like Katherine's thing...and it only make her social issues worse.
Cusack's: They stopped at this diner that looked suspiciously like a bar called Cusack's. But the mural...actually wasn't half bad. It was like community beautification. No matter how many times it was pissed on like Sonya said, that little faded mural of a sunny valley still cheered a few people up by letting them see a little sunshine. And after she explained that, Sonya actually...understood it. She actually took the TIME to listen and understand. She wasn't bored and she didn't think it was stupid. If Katherine wasn't so in shock by that, she would have hugged Sonya right then and there and never let go.
Katherine just ordered a burger-not wanting to look like a pig in front of everybody by wolfing down fried chicken or something. Then McCready offered to pay for her meal...why? Did he realize she was basically dirt poor and couldn't support herself? Was he patronizing her? Was he laughing at her?! Oh my gosh...she could cover herself. She could still do that much, oh my gosh.
After she finished the burger, which was surprisingly good, Sam J asked what she'd be most looking forward to doing on the trip. Uh oh...Kara bubbled to the surface, as she often did when she saw the opportunity to flirt with a cute guy or a pretty girl. Katherine was slouched in her chair and folded in on herself, just trying to eat without attracting attention...then her whole body language changed. Kara sat up straight in her seat, and actually winked at Sam J and said "Spending time with you, obviously." Then when David got salty about not being included, Kara teasingly (because she never, EVER had the time to DO anything before Katherine came back) joked about there being enough of her to go around.
Van Ride-B: The embarrassment of the poly stuff Kara suggested was enough for Katherine to return...and bury her face in her hands and turn away from everyone the second they got into the van. Why did Kara always do this? She was great for anything when confidence was needed, but she just...wouldn't stop flirting. Ever. David and Sam J were her FRIENDS...she wasn't into them like that, she wasn't the kind of perv that wanted a threesome...or was she...because Kara was a part of her, wasn't she? Oh God, so she was as big a pervert as Kara inside, wasn't she? A covert pervert who was too embarrassed to admit it!
Katherine's fit of self-loathing was interrupted by Sonya tapping her on her arm, asking what was on her mind. Uhh...Katherine just blurted out the first thing she saw in front of her; "All these trees." And somehow, SOMEHOW...Katherine actually managed to turn her BSing into an actual deep philosophical point about being humbled by the world. Then Sonya said that she originally grew up in the city of Portland, Oregon, before she moved here, so she knew what Katherine was talking about firsthand. Wow...Katherine never expected that.
Then Sonya said that she wanted to affect everyone she met in some small way, to put a little bit of her soul into each of them-that that was her life's dream. Katherine had never heard anything more beautiful.
And then somehow they kind of combined both their ideas into the point that everybody takes something for granted and that we should appreciate things (people and the world both) a lot more. It was already the most amazing conversation Katherine had engaged in all year...then Sonya looked at her like she was in awe, and just said "You're beautiful." And Katherine could tell...she didn't mean physically, the way that everyone else did. She didn't mean that her body was beautiful. Sonya meant that SHE, Katherine, was beautiful. And that was the moment Katherine knew she was falling in love with Sonya. And nothing terrified her more.
At Camp: Obviously Katherine wanted to bunk with Sonya...but Sonya said no. She said that she had to bunk with April because April had nightmares. That, THAT arrogant little brat had nightmares and woke up crying in the night because of them?! Katherine thought it was more likely that Sonya just didn't want to be with annoying, plain-jane, boring Katherine for one more minute. And she was just too nice to say it to her face, so she was using her little sister as an excuse. Sonya wasn't coming by like she said. Sonya would be avoiding her as much as humanly possible. Why did she say that stuff in the car anyway? Katherine was boring Sonya to death, wasn't she? Stupid, stupid, stupid! She messed everything up. Just like she always did.
It looked like Sam J just got rejected too...David was over talking to Sonya. Poor girl. Katherine decided to be the kind of good friend Sam always was to her and ask Sam to stay together. She probably wouldn't want to be without a friend tonight. And now neither of them would be.
Before they went in the cabin, Sonya offered to snap some photos of Katherine with her phone. Katherine decided that the only way to win Sonya back was to do something crazy...to make the goofiest poses she could think of. Sonya almost couldn't speak from how hard she was laughing. And that made Katherine...actually not completely humiliated like she would normally be. Because Sonya said she looked "adorable." Sonya was laughing WITH her, not AT her. It may have been the ONLY time in her LIFE this EVER happened...and it felt amazing.
Then Jack put his arm around her (yeah, without even asking or knowing her for 24 hours), and offered her cinnamon whiskey. Not only did Katherine not really drink, but his touch was almost painful to her. She was hyper-conscious of every move his arm made on her shoulders, tense to the point that she could barely breathe or speak. And what could she do? If she said no, he'd hate her again. But she didn't want to say yes! She didn't want it...why did nobody ever understand that she didn't want it...
All Katherine could manage to do was stammer out an awkward "I, ah, I'm not sure..." Well, at least Jack seemed to get the message, and said he wasn't trying to pressure her. And best of all...removed his arm from her shoulders. And suddenly she could breathe again.
Finally, Katherine and Sam J entered the cabin they'd be sharing for the trip. Katherine had just put her cell phone down when Sam J...point blank asked if she wanted to have sex. What? No...they were just friends...she was in love with Sonya...she didn't want sex at ALL, ever again...and what about David? Katherine got out that this didn't feel right...then...oh no. Oh no. Not now. Please not now. Anytime but now.
Kara opened her eyes and smiled a hungry smile. FINALLY. She didn’t even respond to Sam’s question…she let her passionate French kiss do the talking. They didn’t even make it to the bed. They did it right there. It was pleasurable, it was passionate, it was…different than anything Kara had ever imagined. Because Kara had never actually had sex before, she’d never been here long enough. She was a girl who just lost her virginity for the first time. And Sam J was so pretty, so vibrant…the perfect person to lose it to. She genuinely laughed because the pure joy of it all. She did it. Kara actually, really did something in the short time she had. She had known what it was to be alive, and in control of that life. Katherine…she had so much, and she never appreciated any of it. She wasted her life moaning about how she wasn’t good enough instead of enjoying every moment of it. Kara would tell you one thing…if it was her that had 90% of control, she sure as hell wouldn’t live like THAT. Kara had enjoyed this single moment more than Katherine had her lifetime…and she only had a few more moments left. Nothing was fair.
After Kara hit…that wonderful moment of ecstasy, she got so relaxed…so relaxed that she couldn’t keep control, and Katherine got so panicky that she COULD. Gone again.
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod...what the FUCK just happened? She could see and hear and feel EVERYTHING as Kara did it...but she couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop her. Katherine had been raped...by her own sick mind? Or her alter ego? Katherine wanted to scream, she wanted to throw up...but she couldn't move her own mouth. Katherine was in tears and shaking with horror. Katherine thought she could handle this...handle Kara, she even thought Kara was her friend...and then this. But if she told someone what was happening...her life would never be the same. Why was this happening to her? She just wanted some semblance of a normal life after everything she went through. Couldn't she even have that?!
It wasn't Sam's fault...how could Sam J have the faintest clue Katherine didn't want it when Kara was literally all over her? Still, Katherine wanted to get as far away from her naked body as it was humanly possible to get. Sam J, on the other hand, seemed to want to have sex again, and possibly even want to be girlfriends. Katherine just wanted to LEAVE. This was a mistake. This was all a mistake.
But when Sam actually screamed "Why?"...Katherine couldn't exactly SAY "It wasn't me who you were having sex with, it was my alter ego Kara. She did it against my will, BTW, and I'm kind of panicking and traumatized and freaking out and feeling dirty and sick and like I've lost control of my own mind." Sam would immediately send her to a mental institution. Anybody would. So instead Katherine stuttered out some realistic-sounding baloney about how she could never compete with David, and that Sam and David were made for each other. And Sam J did have a huge crush on David, so maybe after she got over her disappointment that she and Katherine would never be a couple, she'd give it another shot with him. They'd be a great couple.
Then as Sam walking out the door, Jack opened it and walked in, with them both still half-dressed...and started totally humiliating them with a mocking "I am so damn sorry I missed this show!" Katherine put her face in her hands to hide that she was blushing so hard it was almost painful. Oh god, Jack knew...and probably thought that Katherine was an absolute slut, flirting with Sonya in the van and having sex with Sam J now, without even going on a single date. Katherine wouldn't do that, she wasn't that kind of girl, it wasn't HER...she wasn't the kind of whore everyone at the camp probably would think she was. Oh god. They'd hate her. Everyone would hate her. Someone would tell someone and then the entire COLLEGE would hate her...even more than they probably already did considering how much she annoyed everyone.
Then Jack slit Sam J's throat right in front of her with a knife she didn't even realize he was holding. One second Sam was looking at her, the next she was unconscious and bleeding out on the floor. That fast. SHIT. Wha--was this even real? Was this a nightmare? Things like this didn't happen in real life-someone just randomly murdering your friend for literally no reason at all...right?
Katherine was too stunned to even scream. She was too stunned to move. All she could do was stare in pure horror at Sam's unconscious body, still twitching on the floor.
Then Jack started talking. He said "I bet you're thinking 'Better her than me.' It's in you, sista. That selfishness, that idea 'I'm alive, they're not. Better them than me.' I respect a good woman like you, but Sam? I still didn't want to have to kill her..." That...that she thought it was better that Sam died than her...that wasn't true. Was it? No, that was absolute garbage! It wasn't true. It wasn't. And if Jack didn't want to kill her...then why the hell WOULD HE?! Sam never, ever did anything to him! What kind of a monster would just murder an innocent girl for no reason but fun?!
Then Jack took a step forward with his bloody knife...and Katherine realized that if she didn't move, she'd be next to join Sam. And as much as she hated her life, Katherine really, REALLY didn't want to die. She bolted out the door a few seconds ahead of Jack. Oh my God oh my God oh my God-she was going to die! Jack was a few seconds behind her-and he was an MMA fighter! He'd catch her and kill her the same way he did Sam! So Katherine just started screaming for help at the top of her lungs, in a desperate hope that someone would hear and come save her.
Sonya opened the door of her cabin. She asked why Katherine was half naked...and at the moment, not even Katherine could find it in her to feel embarrassed. She just kept running toward Sonya and grabbed her hand to pull her along. What if Jack tried to kill Sonya too? And now she at least had SOMEONE to help her, even if Sonya wasn't exactly "take down Jack" material. After she told her what was happening, Sonya suggested that they hide in a toolshed she knew about...and maybe, just maybe they'd make it out alive. Then Sonya seemed to think Katherine was joking and just trying to seduce her. Shit, this was all Kara's doing! Sonya probably thought she was a total perv! Katherine was trying to tell Sonya that this was really serious, and that she needed to just be QUIET...then Sonya said she liked her and thanked her for trying to protect her...and then the toolshed door opened. It was McCready...who immediately slammed a tree branch into her back and knocked her to the ground. Ouch. Still a little dazed from the panic and the pain from the tree branch, the last thing Katherine heard was Sean's voice saying that "Katherine is the last one!"
It was over. She was dead. She wasn't good enough to survive. She wasn't Kara. Kara would have kicked their asses and taken names. Kara was good enough. But she was just Katherine Johnson.
And she wasn't good enough.
She wasn't good enough.
She wa-
Black.
Chapter 2:
All Tied Up: But then Katherine woke up. Her hands and feet were tied to a chair, and she was in a dimly lit room surrounded by everyone here on the trip (April, Jack, McCready, Sean, Sonya)...minus Sam and David. Oh god...did they tie her up like this because they were going to torture her before they killed her?! Was that what happened to "the last one"?! The first words out of Katherine's mouth were "Are you going to kill me?"
April, the little witch, acted like that was somehow a stupid question, and snapped at her with a bitchy "Are-you-dead? No! So-what-do-you-think?!" Sonya then said "Of course not"...well, of course not "as long as you behave." And that they wanted her to learn the rules of their family.
And though it was probably the world's stupidest and most impulsive move, Kara...had a little bit of a temper. And she had seen her...whatever Sam J was to her...murdered without even being able to TRY to do anything. Kara bursted out of Katherine's subconscious before Katherine could stop her, just long enough to scream "Fuck you!" And Kara MEANT it. She hated them all. Every last one of these sick, sadistic bastards. Jack in particular...acting all casual while he murdered Sam in cold blood. Kara never really cared that much for anybody because she didn't KNOW them for very long when she was barely in control of their body. But Sam J...she was beautiful, she was so full of life...and now she was dead. Lifeless. For freaking NOTHING. Good God, was that an actual tear coming down her cheek as she screamed at them? She was becoming as pathetic as Katherine, the romantic little fool.
Sam's face flashed in her mind again. Her smile...Sam's hands caressing her as she held her. Fuck them. Fuck them fuck them fuck them-
And at that, Katherine got control again before Kara got them both killed. She was the sensible one; the one who could feel anger, but could control it enough to be a sensible person. Sensible enough not to resist Sean trying to "check her" while tied to a chair and completely unable to do anything.
Then Sean said she was "ready" and asked...if she'd heard of Dante. Well that came out of nowhere. And yeah, she'd heard of him and the books, but she hadn't read any of it. When Sean then said that THEY were the 7 deadly sins...Katherine couldn't help it. She just burst out laughing at the absurdity of it.
But they were actually serious, and wanted her to guess which one they were. Crud, she wasn't very good at this...uh, April was Pride? Yeah! It was right! And Sonya was Lust? Right! Then Katherine was unsure, and she started panicking a little...like what if they killed her if she got anything wrong, what if...
Aaand Kara was back, this time with an urge to to make a few discomfort-causing quasi-flirtatious jokes before she was shoved back in her box again. Katherine hold on for a second...because this was going to be epic. Lust was a fun sin. She guessed Jack as Lust, and watched Sonya defend her "position" by talking about how many dicks she'd had up her butt...much to Jack's extreme discomfort. It was hilarious to watch. (And a little discomfort was the LEAST of what was coming for that two-faced sadistic scumbag...) Then she called Sean Lust, just to tease Sonya. Then when Sonya said there could only be one Lust here...Kara grinned and teased "Who, me?" And let's face it...Kara really WAS breathtakingly gorgeous and sexy enough to do the job. Okay, well she was done for now. Mike drop.
And at that, Katherine was allowed to return (allowed to?)...just in time to hear Sean insulting her, saying that she should have some pride as a psychology student. Ouch. And what if she couldn't do this? What if she wasn't cut out for psychology? It wasn't even that her guesses were horrible, it was that half of those guesses weren't made by Katherine at all. And how could she go on...how could she work and live and pretend this wasn't happening in an office full of professional psychologists, who knew exactly what to look for?
Then everyone but Sean started leaving the building-but April, before she did, took the time to remove the SIM chip on Katherine's cell phone so it couldn't be tracked...and threaten to kill her little sister Grace herself if Katherine didn't "cooperate." That little bitch! Grace was just an innocent child, who had never ever done anything bad to anyone...how could anyone DO that? After blurting out "If you touch her, you're dead" in a moment of pure rage...and thanking God that April didn't kill her sister for pure spite because of that comment...Katherine was flat out terrified. She COULDN'T cooperate with serial killers...she had to escape...but how could she, when her sister would die if she did?
Sean's Interview: Then April left too, and it was just her (tied to the chair) and Sean. Sean actually asked if she would like to kill him...and Katherine was pretty sure THAT was a trick question. Why would he ask THAT? Probably to trick her into saying yes and then have an excuse to kill her on the spot...and then April would kill Grace too because she hadn't cooperated...oh god. When Katherine asked if that was a trick question, Sean said it wasn't and he was just curious. Yeah, like she could believe him. She started to cry and break down a little from the stress and the insanity of the situation a little then. She even mentioned that she came because she wanted to have a family vacation because her parents separated and she never had one.
Then Sean, after just standing idly by as April threatened her family, said that that THEY were her family now and that HE could be her brother. Every muscle in her body tensed. He would never be her family. She already had a family. Grace was her family. And Katherine would keep her safe...no matter what she had to do, she would keep Grace safe. Because Grace was all she had.
And before Sean left, he actually gagged her with a SOCK! Too scared of the consequences to resist, Katherine just silently opened up.
Ugh. It was getting soggy.
This sucked.
Jack's Interview: Katherine woke up from a nightmare to find Jack literally on TOP of her. Oh no, oh no...was this...was he going to rape her? Because why ELSE would a murderer tie his victim to a chair rather than just killing her?! And THEN he jumped back and made a fist like he was going to beat her! Her heart was beating a million miles a minute...this was NOT how she wanted to go...beaten and raped to death! And then she noticed Jack's jacket on her shoulders. Wha-what? Then Jack unclenched his fist and started talking-saying that he was going to take the sock gag off of her...but if she tried to bite him she'd be losing teeth. Nice. Well, she wanted the gag off and she liked her teeth IN her mouth so...no biting. She just prayed he wasn't lying and actually planning to do something horrible. Well, at least her prayers on that were answered. And she could talk again. She couldn't stop herself from blurting out a half-intelligible "Thankth Jack." The relief from the discomfort of the gag was just too great.
Jack it seemed, had brought food and water. Katherine actually almost refused-fearing that he had poisoned one or both. After what he did to Sam right in front of her eyes and almost did to her...Jack was clearly capable of anything. But when he said it would be a long time before she would get anything else...Katherine's hunger pangs and bone-dry mouth made her reconsider.
After she was done eating and drinking and her mind was once again fully functional, Katherine decided that the best thing to do was keep her hatred for this sadistic asshole locked inside. Only a complete idiot would start screaming profanities at the guy who had her tied to a chair and at his (almost certainly nonexistent) mercy. So instead of doing that, Katherine grit her mental teeth and said "Thank you Jack. Really."
Then Jack said, and she quoted, "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry about Sam J. I know you two were close. It's like, I coulda let someone else do it, or I could have waited. Shit, I'm just digging myself deeper, I can tell. Point is, yeah. Thanks for not completely hating my guts. That would eat at me, y'know?"
Gee, thanks for outlining all the reasons why you're a horrible person-just in case I forgot, she thought. Because Jack was absolutely right-he didn't have to do it. He chose to murder her in cold blood. And Katherine DID completely hate his guts. Oh God, she DID. Not that he would ever know...at least not until he was behind bars for the rest of his miserable life. Which was exactly where he belonged.
And his music playlist was terrible too. This playlist was a headache-giving disgrace to playlists.
PPT: 9
Katherine was a little confused. She only scored a 9! The psychopath score was 30! Why was April waving this test around like it was some kind of proof she belonged here or reason she was chosen?! If she had scored in the 20's or something she would have understood...but this didn't make any sense.
Unless this WAS a really bad score. Katherine looked it up...and the average score WAS about 6. Were those 3 little points over the average enough to make her serial killer material? They couldn't be...could they?
Q: I never get tongue-tied.
-False
Q: In important ways, I am superior to most people.
-False
Q: I am prone to boredom.
-False
Q: I lie to make things go smoother.
-True
Q: I cheat people out of things.
-False
Q: I rarely feel guilty.
-False
Q: I am an emotional person.
-True
Q: I rarely connect emotionally with others.
-False
Q: I often get others to pay for things for me.
-False
Q: I am impatient.
-False
Q: I am promiscuous.
-True
Q: I was a problem child.
-True
Q: I have difficulty staying committed to long-term goals.
-This test itself is feeling like forever.
Q: I am impulsive.
-False
Q: I frequently perform sloppy work.
-False
Q: I try to evade responsibility.
-Like work, right?
Q: My romantic relationships usually fall apart quickly.
-True
Q: I committed some crimes as a juvenile.
-False
Q: I have committed many types of crimes.
-Only a parking violation.
Q: I am neither shy nor self-conscious, I speak with authority.
-False
Q: I am exceptional.
-False
Q: I need to take risks in order to feel alive.
-False
Q: I am basically an honest person.
-True
Q: I feel bad when I trick people.
-True
Q: If someone deserves it, I don't feel too bad.
-True
Q: I think strong emotions are for the weak.
-False
Q: If people get offended, that's their problem.
-False
Q: I have always taken care of myself.
-True
Q: I never act hastily.
-False
Q: I think sex should not be taken lightly.
-True
Q: I was often in trouble in school.
-Model student.
Q: I lack direction in my life.
-They've got you pegged.
Q: I never give in to temptation.
-False
Q: I always keep my word.
-True
Q: My problems are mostly the fault of others.
-False
Q: I don't like to commit in relationships.
-False
Q: I was a bully in high school.
-False
Q: I am, or would be, proud of getting away with any crimes.
-False
April's Interview: April wanted to play 2 Truths and a Lie...and Katherine's first question, since it seemed April was going to let her ask questions, was "Why did you choose me?" Because she didn't understand. She was a good person, right? She never hurt anyone. Katherine wasn't even mean to people on purpose. So...why?
April...said she was chosen because she belonged with them and "You-will-be-a-monster." When Katherine said that sounded like circular logic, April said it was based on psychology...and basically that she was in denial about what kind of person she really was.
She's lying. She's lying. She's lying. She's a serial killer, she's trying to manipulate you, and you can't trust anything she says. Katherine repeated to herself over and over. Because April had to be lying. If she wasn't...no. It was too horrible to even contemplate. Because Katherine was annoying and stupid and a burden on everyone...but she couldn't, she COULDN'T be, a monster.
Then it was April's turn, and April asked if she was going to escape. Katherine froze up...which gave Kara the PERFECT opportunity to resurface. Kara gave a sassy "No," said with a toss of her head and a lopsided smirk. She hoped this little bitch would sleep with one eye open tonight. Served her right for the amount of times she'd insulted Kara.
For the second question, Kara asked why April was here. Because little brat or not, she didn't seem STUPID. Why would she take the risk of going to prison or dying to do this? April answered that she was here because Sonya was, and that Sonya needed her and this. Seriously? Wow. So underneath the tough girl attitude, April was as much of a fool for love as Katherine. ...huh. Did that mean that April was weak, or that even the strongest people can be conquered by love?
For April's question about who was going to betray the cult, Kara was ABOUT to throw Jack under the bus...before that goody-goody Katherine wrest control from her again and said "Nobody." Apparently Katherine didn't want to set ANYONE up to be killed. That figured.
For the final question, Katherine asked April how many people she had killed. Just to get an estimate of how many people these cult members had offed each...and how many people SHE'D be expected to. April's answer? 72 people. PERSONALLY. Holy shit.
Her last question was...if Katherine had sex with Sonya. Wait...what? She WISHED, but that would never happen. Sonya was out of her league. And everyone knew it.
Everyone except April, it seemed. April started FREAKING out, and acting like it was inconceivable that Sonya would reject Katherine. WTF? April also said that Sonya had sex with several people each week. Was that...possible?
Then April said the cult rules WAY to fast for any human to understand, called her pathetic and inferior (...like she didn't already know?!), and left.
McCready's Interview: McCready began his interview by SMACKING her in the face with a Bible! All for trying to go along with things and say she was ready to join. What an absolute asshole...and he outright said that if she "mouthed off" he'd enjoy hurting her.
Well, that wouldn't be a problem...unless Kara showed up at the WORST possible moment. Katherine wasn't the rebellious type. But when he asked her if she was HUMAN...Katherine was worried he was trying to give her a trick question just to have an excuse to hurt her. So she said she didn't understand the question. THAT made him go into a rage that led to him kicking one of the chair legs hard enough that it actually cracked. Katherine was completely terrified out of her mind. She just blurted out the first thing that came to her frozen mind; a stuttering "Yes."
After that, Katherine only barely got out 2-word obligatory responses...because her voice was shaking, her body was shaking, her heart was pounding in her ears, and she could barely talk. She was going to die. He was going to kill her. He was going to kill her horribly. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to die, pleas-
And that's when Katherine realized McCready had actually already left.
Sonya's Interview: When Sonya came down and asked if she wanted some food, Katherine gave a polite "No thank you." Because after finding out Sonya was leading her to her probable death this whole time, Katherine wasn't totally sure she could trust that the food wasn't poisoned. When Sonya actually ASKED if she was upset with her, Katherine couldn't hold it in any more. In a bout of pure anger, she yelled "Ya THINK?!" She was tied to a chair, David and Sam J were DEAD, and Sonya was asking if she was UPSET with her?!
Sonya said that they were family now and that she didn't want to fight with her, and that David and Sam J were her friends too. Katherine sighed. She didn't understand what went on in Sonya's head at all. Then after asking if she understood, Sonya went off on a tangent about the night they met. The night Mike, her boyfriend of 2 years, dumped her via text for another girl. Sonya said she was planning to have sex with Katherine that very night and "fuck the memories away", but that Katherine was crying too hard. Well...THAT would have been a little...soon. And Katherine didn't even want to have sex again. Not ever. But she had wanted Sonya from the first moment she met her. Oh God...how was she EVER going to explain this to Sonya? How was she going to explain that she wasn't rejecting her, that she loved her, that she just...couldn't?
But then Sonya took all that pressure away by saying that she couldn't have sex with her now because they were "family." Was this really happening? Katherine could love Sonya, and Sonya could love her, and sex would never be a part of it, and Sonya would never even have to know that this was what Katherine wanted anyway! Katherine would never have to go through the difficulty and the shame of explaining! Trying not to look too overjoyed, Katherine made a soothing expression and told Sonya she understood. Sonya said she was "a nice gal inside"...and that it only made what she had to tell her harder to say.
So Sonya decided to say it in the most tactless way imaginable, after calling her dense, saying "I fucked Mike, dumbass" and that SHE was the other girl Mike dumped her for. Katherine just saw red. This two-faced bitch used her, lied to her...treated her like absolute shit, and was actually MOCKING her for not realizing it. Katherine screamed "You BITCH!!" and was so caught up in her emotions she actually forgot she was tied to the chair for a second, and tried to get up at attack Sonya.
But she was still tied to the chair, and all she managed to do was nearly tip the chair over. After that, Katherine just started yelling. She screamed "Fuck you! YOU made my ex cheat on me? Then, what, that wasn't enough for you? You've been stalking me this whole time??!"
Sonya said that it was somehow different from that, and that she never planned to steal Mike...it was just an impulsive sexual urge. Then she described, in detail, exactly how she seduced Mike. Katherine felt like she was going to be sick.
THEN Sonya told her she was telling Katherine because she couldn't stand the guilt anymore, that she didn't do it to hurt Katherine, and actually begged. in TEARS, for Katherine to forgive her. Her damn heart felt like it was being ripped in half. She couldn't think. All she could manage was a stuttering "Ugh. No. I don't even want to think about Mike right now. And you! I don't even know, Sonya. I can't even."
Then Sonya...asked if she wanted the hashbrowns now. Ugh. NO, Sonya! (She didn't yell this out loud, but she sure did yell it in her head.) She just needed some time to think. Please. Sonya said she would let her think, apologized again, and left.
And Katherine was alone again...alone with the dysfunctional mess that was her own mind.
Initiation: A few minutes after Sonya left, she came back with the entire group. Something was clearly about to happen. Then Jack actually cut the ropes tying her to the chair! But
Jack was walking like he was buzzed at the very least...and when he said she probably wouldn't like her final test, Katherine suddenly had a really bad feeling in her stomach. Sean said that her worry meant she had survival instincts. Well, she kind of did want to live. Sean responded that they wanted her to live as well and that her passing her test was "best for all involved."
Then McCready opened the door, walking in with a blindfolded middle-aged obese man. When McCready took the blindfold off, she saw that the obese man had red, puffy eyes like he'd just been crying...believe her, Katherine knew what THOSE looked like from experience. Then McCready, assholic as usual, kicked the man to his knees for no apparent reason...well, no reason other than that he enjoyed it. McCready and the obese man knew each other somehow though...they were arguing about the man "abandoning his post." Okay, what?!
Then the man looked directly at her and asked if she understood, and to "Please, don't." How could she understand? Nobody had bothered to EXPLAIN anything! Don't what? She wasn't going to do ANYTHING! Why was everyone treating her like this...treating her like she was some kind of monster?
Then Sean flat-out said, in the same tone one would use to say "Wash the dishes"; "Kill him." What? No, no, please! Katherine wasn't a murderer. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't.
...then she remembered what Sean strongly implied about how she would only live if she passed this test. Oh...shit. She just had to, didn't she? Because she wanted to LIVE. True, her life was terrible, and true, she hated it and true, she hated herself...but she was only eighteen. She wasn't ready to DIE. She just wasn't ready at all. And this guy was...like a bad person, right? Or at least he must have done some really bad things, being an ex-cult member?
She-had-to-do-this-she-had-to-she-wanted-to-live. Katherine took the hammer they gave her to do it with and brought it up in the air, stepping forward...about to swing...but looking at the man, shaking with fear, on his knees, begging her with eyes not to...she just...suddenly the hammer felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. It sank lower and lower, almost as if by its own volition. Katherine tried to swing again...but now her hands were shaking. Her hands were shaking so much, and she couldn't make them stop, and the hammer fell out of her hands and onto the ground.
Then McCready picked the hammer up and bashed the man's head in like a watermelon right in front of her. Oh GOD. Then he smiled evilly and rhetorically asked if she was up next. Katherine thought he was about to kill her...then April "claimed" that right for herself. Katherine was sure she was going to die...but wasn't even able to open her mouth to beg for her life before Sean started talking. He made this speech, and somehow convinced everyone that Katherine would probably be the LAST person to kill someone, being Sloth and all, and that not doing so now didn't mean she had to die.
Katherine was too in shock from what had transpired to get out a single word of...anything. But she did manage to shiver when Sean whispered in her ear as she headed up the stairs and out of the basement, "You owe me."
Katherine was given food and water, a bathroom break (finally), and allowed a shower. The water was lukewarm, but it never felt so good. Then she opened the shower curtain to find Jack RIGHT THERE! Katherine almost literally hurt herself because she jumped half a foot in the air in pure blind panic.
Then she saw that Jack was carrying a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and said they could do this the easy way or the hard way. Katherine was terrified of what this meant...but Kara, on the other hand, was amused. And there was no WAY she was NOT going to pop in just to say "Oh myyy. It appears you have me at a disadvantage, Mr... uh... Mr. Jack." FUZZY handcuffs? Kara would never, EVER let this one go. So Jack liked it kinky after all, huh?
Then Jack's face actually turned beet red and he INSISTED that the fuzzy handcuffs weren't his, they were Sonya's. (Interesting. So Sonya liked it kinky then. Sweet. That was just Kara's style.) Oh? Was Jack UNCOMFORTABLE? GOOD. Kara teased him even more incessantly knowing that.
Katherine was so embarrassed by the end of THAT that she managed to get control again. Great. Now even the people kidnapping her would think she was the biggest perv alive. But she didn't even have time to have a bout of anxiety over THAT...because she was about to be stuffed in a trunk. Oh my god oh my god NO. She tried to kick and scream and resist, but quickly realized that Jack and McCready were each 10X stronger than her individually, and they were working together...so she didn't have a chance. Before they closed the trunk, Katherine managed to shakily ask if she could at least have a pillow for her head. So at least she wouldn't have a headache when she was having an inevitable panic attack the entire way to...wherever they were going. Oh god, she didn't even know WHERE.
